10)Dreadlocks
Reason: Every sports figure with dreadlocks has been a disappointment to Bob. "Everyone with dreadlocks is getting into trouble".... Bob may have a point here...Pacman Jones, Cedrick Benson, Ricky Williams & Manny Ramirez.
People that Bob just might hate: Whoopi Goldberg, Bob Marley & Jack Sparrow.
9)Domes
Reason: Bob wants all sports to be played "in natural elements". Again I kind of agree with Bob on this one. Bob (and I) would rather see a muddy slopfest of a football game, than see "the greatest show on turf".
Places Bob just might hate: The Pantheon, The Taj Mahal, BioDome The United States Capitol, Epcot Center.
8)Thugs & Greaseballs
(Everyone Between 13-19 Years Old)
Reason: None
People Bob may hate: Mike Glassberg, Miley Cyrus & Harry Potter.
7)Advertising During Sporting Events
Reason: There are too many things flashing across the screen, its just too hard to pay attention to the game. "They" are ruining all of the stadiums by selling ads everywhere.
Things Bob Might Hate: The side of a bus, trains, the top of a taxis, magazines, newspapers & the internet.
6)Alcohol
Reason: There is a biochemical basis for Jewish abstinence. Many Jews—fifty per cent, in one estimate—carry a variant gene for alcohol dehydrogenase. Therefore, they, like the East Asians, have a low tolerance for alcohol. Rumor has it that Bob drank on New Years Eve... but I don't buy it.... I have literally never seen Bob drunk in my entire life.
Games you will never find Bob Playing: Beer Pong, Flippy Cup, Irish Poker & Circle of Death.
5)Things that aren't live
Reason: I honestly have no idea...Bob just can't handle the fact that what he is watching is on a 3 second taped delay. Who would have thought that Janet Jackson's tit popping out during the superbowl halftime could have such an effect on Bob's life. When a sporting event is on he will refuse to watch it in HD because it is a second or two behind regular cable, so he will sit in his room and watch the game. If that wasn't enough, he will listen to the radio broadcast of the game to gain an extra second.
Things that Bob might not like: Any Late Night Show, The Oscars, Pretty much any T.V. show on the air.
4)Basketball & Soccer
Reason: "Soccer is a communist sport"-Bob. When I was 8 Bob signed me up for the 9-10 year old soccer league. Was this because he forgot my age? Maybe.... but i think it was because he didn't want to see any of his children become a communist. And for basketball....where do I even start? He hates the baggy shorts..."Are they wearing pajamas? I could go to sleep in those"-Bob. He hates the fouls every 2 minutes, he hates when they hang on the rim, he hates the squeeking, and Dick Vitale saying "Yea Baby"
Movies that Bob might hate: Bend it like Beckham, Spacejam, Hoosiers,White Men Can't Jump, Air Bud, and Air Bud World Pup.
3)Oklahoma University
Reason: They cocked on him
Things that Bob might hate: The Sooner Schooner, the Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art and the Sam Nobe Oklahoma Museum of Natural History.
2)Pam
Reason: It ruins pans, and makes shit stick to the pan. Click Here for More Info
Foods that Bob might not like to cook: Pancakes, eggs, seared scallops, cup cakes & muffins.
1)Technology & Gadgets
Reason: Where do I even begin...well he thinks Windows Vista is the Antichrist. The first time he held an Xbox controller, he held it upside down. He doesn't understand why me and Mike use electric toothbrushes. He suggests his friends to me on facebook, then proceeds to adimately deny that the friend suggestion ever took place, implying that someone hacked into his facebook account, for the sole purpose of suggesting one of his facebook friends to me.
Things that Bob might not like: The segway, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Blackberry phones & Remote control car starters.
Reason: Every sports figure with dreadlocks has been a disappointment to Bob. "Everyone with dreadlocks is getting into trouble".... Bob may have a point here...Pacman Jones, Cedrick Benson, Ricky Williams & Manny Ramirez.
People that Bob just might hate: Whoopi Goldberg, Bob Marley & Jack Sparrow.
9)Domes
Reason: Bob wants all sports to be played "in natural elements". Again I kind of agree with Bob on this one. Bob (and I) would rather see a muddy slopfest of a football game, than see "the greatest show on turf".
Places Bob just might hate: The Pantheon, The Taj Mahal, BioDome The United States Capitol, Epcot Center.
8)Thugs & Greaseballs
(Everyone Between 13-19 Years Old)
Reason: None
People Bob may hate: Mike Glassberg, Miley Cyrus & Harry Potter.
7)Advertising During Sporting Events
Reason: There are too many things flashing across the screen, its just too hard to pay attention to the game. "They" are ruining all of the stadiums by selling ads everywhere.
Things Bob Might Hate: The side of a bus, trains, the top of a taxis, magazines, newspapers & the internet.
6)Alcohol
Reason: There is a biochemical basis for Jewish abstinence. Many Jews—fifty per cent, in one estimate—carry a variant gene for alcohol dehydrogenase. Therefore, they, like the East Asians, have a low tolerance for alcohol. Rumor has it that Bob drank on New Years Eve... but I don't buy it.... I have literally never seen Bob drunk in my entire life.
Games you will never find Bob Playing: Beer Pong, Flippy Cup, Irish Poker & Circle of Death.
5)Things that aren't live
Reason: I honestly have no idea...Bob just can't handle the fact that what he is watching is on a 3 second taped delay. Who would have thought that Janet Jackson's tit popping out during the superbowl halftime could have such an effect on Bob's life. When a sporting event is on he will refuse to watch it in HD because it is a second or two behind regular cable, so he will sit in his room and watch the game. If that wasn't enough, he will listen to the radio broadcast of the game to gain an extra second.
Things that Bob might not like: Any Late Night Show, The Oscars, Pretty much any T.V. show on the air.
4)Basketball & Soccer
Reason: "Soccer is a communist sport"-Bob. When I was 8 Bob signed me up for the 9-10 year old soccer league. Was this because he forgot my age? Maybe.... but i think it was because he didn't want to see any of his children become a communist. And for basketball....where do I even start? He hates the baggy shorts..."Are they wearing pajamas? I could go to sleep in those"-Bob. He hates the fouls every 2 minutes, he hates when they hang on the rim, he hates the squeeking, and Dick Vitale saying "Yea Baby"
Movies that Bob might hate: Bend it like Beckham, Spacejam, Hoosiers,White Men Can't Jump, Air Bud, and Air Bud World Pup.
3)Oklahoma University
Reason: They cocked on him
Things that Bob might hate: The Sooner Schooner, the Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art and the Sam Nobe Oklahoma Museum of Natural History.
2)Pam
Reason: It ruins pans, and makes shit stick to the pan. Click Here for More Info
Foods that Bob might not like to cook: Pancakes, eggs, seared scallops, cup cakes & muffins.
1)Technology & Gadgets
Reason: Where do I even begin...well he thinks Windows Vista is the Antichrist. The first time he held an Xbox controller, he held it upside down. He doesn't understand why me and Mike use electric toothbrushes. He suggests his friends to me on facebook, then proceeds to adimately deny that the friend suggestion ever took place, implying that someone hacked into his facebook account, for the sole purpose of suggesting one of his facebook friends to me.
Things that Bob might not like: The segway, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Blackberry phones & Remote control car starters.
2 comments:
You missed the best one about basketball.
It takes 1/2 hour to play the last two minutes of the game.
Foul...timeout...another foul...timeout...and so on...
Hey Adam, tell your dad that Dr. Doo says yer even funnier than he is, and that's going some.
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