These are the movies that I will undoubtedly be watching from tomorrow until December 23rd (Christmas Eve is violent movie night at the Glassberg residence... i know fucked up right). Being a half-jew I'd like to include a Hanukkah movie, but Eight Crazy Nights just wasn't that good.
5)Die Hard
I know what you're thinking... this movie has very little to do with Christmas. I don't care... it is one of my favorite movies, and a X-mas movie in my book. There's nothing that says "I'm a man and I love Christmas" as much as Die Hard. As much as I like the title "Die Hard" it could have easily been named "John McClain Saves Christmas", and known by everyone as a Christmas classic. John McClain is arguably the best bad ass hero of our generation and Carl Winslow plays one hell of a cop. "Now I know what a T.V. dinner feels like".... God I love this movie.
4) A Christmas Story
Truly a Christmas classic in every sense of the phrase. I've probably seen this movie a dozen times and it never gets old. Scut Farcus is one of the greatest Christmas villains of all time, and every time i see a frozen pole i can't help but think about Flick being "tripple dog dared". Who doesn't associate this movie with the quote "You'll shoot your eye out kid".
I don't think they could have found a better actor to portray an out of control alcoholic Santa who can't control his "fuck stick". The late Bernie Mac and the little black midget were also great in this movie. The relationship that Billy Bob Thorton builds with the little fat mildly retarded kid is priceless.
3) National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
Clark Grizwald is at it again.....As cheesy as this movie can be, it's still a classic. This movie makes its way up to #3 on the list simply because it has Chicago cred. Any movie that was filmed or based in the Chicagoland area automatically gets and extra star in my book (and gets bumped up a few spots on my top ten lists).
[a squirrel is loose in the house] Clark-"Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things." Cousin Cathrine-"Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol."
2) Bad Santa
I don't think they could have found a better actor to portray an out of control alcoholic Santa who can't control his "fuck stick". The late Bernie Mac and the little black midget were also great in this movie. The relationship that Billy Bob Thorton builds with the little fat mildly retarded kid is priceless.
Marcus (the midget)-"more booze, more bullshit, more butt-fucking" Willie (Santa)-"sure the 3 B's"
Willie "you can't drink worth a shit" Marcus"I weigh 92 pounds you dick"
Willie "you can't drink worth a shit" Marcus"I weigh 92 pounds you dick"
1)Home Alone
The crem de la crem of Christmas movies. I have easily seen this movie 25 times (probably more). This wa also the peak of McCauly Caulkin's career (before he me Michael Jackson). This brings out the true Christmas spirit in all of us, and makes us realize that furnaces in the basement are not all that scary. Also has Chicago cred...but didn't even need it to jump to #1 on my list. Too many awsome quotes from this movie:
"Buzz's girlfriend....woof"
"See that garbage can full of salt? That's where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies... into mummies. "
"Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association? "
"Kevin, you're completely helpless! "..."Kevin, you're what the French call les incompetents."...."Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula. "...."Kevin, you are such a disease!"...."There are 15 people in this house and you're the only one who has to make trouble."...."Look what you did, you little jerk."
"A lovely cheese pizza, just for me. "
Kevin's mom at the airport-"Kevin!!!!"
"See that garbage can full of salt? That's where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies... into mummies. "
"Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association? "
"Kevin, you're completely helpless! "..."Kevin, you're what the French call les incompetents."...."Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula. "...."Kevin, you are such a disease!"...."There are 15 people in this house and you're the only one who has to make trouble."...."Look what you did, you little jerk."
"A lovely cheese pizza, just for me. "
Kevin's mom at the airport-"Kevin!!!!"
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