Top Ten Chicago Players of 2008 That I Can't Stand

These are the players from 2008 that i I have personal issues with, weather it be for bad play, previous history, or any other reason. They are the Tobys to my Michael Scott. Some of them are already out of Chicago (and for good reason), and some of them need to go sooner than later.

10. Koske Fukudome

I know, I know, I had Fukudome fever just as much as every other Cubs fan from the day he signed his 4 year $48 million dollar contract, to the game tying home run on opening day, until the all star game that he played in (I even bought his Cubs shirt with his Japanese name on the back). Major league pitching caught up to him and he never really adjusted. His batting average was .264 in June, .236 in July, .193 in August, and .178 in September, ending the year with a .257 average. He was benched after game 2 of the NLDS and now he is sitting at #10 on my most hated list. I'm a "what have you done for me lately kinda guy", and the only thing I can remember him doing the 2nd half of '08 is swinging in the dirt for strike three and walking to the dugout in one swift motion. Lets hope he can turn things around and be on my comeback players of the year list for '09.

9. Joakim Noah

Joakim, I like your hustle and work ethic, but lets face it, you are out of control, erratic, and inconsistent on the basketball floor. If sucking at basketball weren't enough, you make this list because you are a goon and I hate looking at your ugly sideshow Bob Bozo face.

8. Jim Edmonds

I know what you're thinking... how could Jim Hendry's pickup of the year be on this list. Yes, he was pretty clutch for us last year (I'll never forget that awesome catch in Houston or the multi home run games against the White Sox and Rockies). Still, I hate you Jim Edmonds. Just seeing you in a Cubs uniform makes me cringe. You ruined my life for 7 years when you were with the Cardinals. The jerk store called, Jim Edmonds, and they ran out of you.

7. Matt Murton

He wasn't even that bad with the Cubs, he was just average at everything he did. He was supposed to be good once he started hitting for power, and that day never came. Once know as the "big murt", "thunder Matt" , and "big red", you will forever be known to me as "ginger balls Matt Murton".

6. Nick Swisher

Brought in last year for his club house presence, he was never better than mediocre in his prime (.244 lifetime batting average). I hated his off the field antics and I love how Sox fans defended this guy all year even though he batted a whopping .219 last year.

5. Ben Wallace

Ben Wallace, you were the bottom scoop of the turd Sunday which is now the Chicago Bulls. I could only imagine how good we would be if we resigned Tyson Chandler (for less money) instead of you.

4. A.J. Pierzynski

I guess i would like him if he were on the Cubs. I like his hustle and how much he gets under his opponents skin..... I'm a Cubs fan and he gets under my skin. Watching him get jacked in the face by Michael Barrett was one of the few highlights of watching the Cubs in '06.

3. Bobby Howry

There are two reasons why I hate Bobby Howry. 1) He sucks- I saw him blow a 6 run lead in the 9th in 2007 against the Rockies (we did come back and win but still) . In 2008 he had a 5.35 era and sweet Lou stuck with him through thick and thin. It seems like every time he came in last year he was good for a home run or two. He's old, his fastball isn't as fast, and his slider doesn't slide anymore. 2) He looks like he doesnt care- after every bomb he gave up, he had the same stupid look on his face..... Just another day on the job, at least i'm making 4.5 mil this year. Suck a bag of dicks Bobby Howry.

2. Rex Grossman

It's amazing how fast Rex the "Sex Cannon" turned into "Rexual Harassment". He was never the same after that Cardinals game in 2006. There's a part of me that feels bad for the guy, but it pisses me off that he was standing in the way of the Neckbeard of destiny (Kyle Orton) for the last 3 years.

1. Brandon Lloyd

He was one of my favorite new Chicago players a couple months ago after a breakout performance against Tampa Bay in week 3. He also made one of the best catches ever (see above). After his knee injury i realized that this guy is not a football player. He didn't want to play until he was 100% so the Bears sat him out half of the year. Guess what Brandon, not one person in the NFL is 100% you pussy. Ok... I guess i can understand wanting to be healthy so you can get a big deal next year, but your website shot you directly to #1 on this list. (check out his video on ESPN's Cold Pizza). Everything about this website tells me that you are an adult sized bag of douche. End your terrible rapping carreer and start running some goddamn routes you pompus ass.


Honorable Mentions: Nikalai Khabubulin, Tyrus Thomas, Rich Hill, Hunter Hillenmeyer.